Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Do you need what you want or want what you need or . . .

You don't always get what you want, you get what you neeeeed!

Really?

What this country needs is a good 5cent cigar!

What he needs is a good swift kick in the rear!

I need to get laid, (really!)

I really need a vacation!

I want you, I need you, but there ain't no way . . .

I taught first graders for Junior Achievement for a while. Six weeks on wants versus needs and who in our community provides our needs and of course what we need to get what we need. If memory serves it was a pretty short list:
  • Food
  • Water
  • Clothing
  • Shelter

At the most basic level aren't those the needs?

Maslow had his little heirarchy of needs and somewhere along the way he came to love and respect and all those things. Needs.

So how did we get from thinking that needs are things we must have to survive and can then be thought of as good things (see the big 4 above) to things that will contribute to our happiness and comfort (love, respect, purpose, etc) and then finally to the things that karma says we deserve (the swift kick in the rear).

It occurs to me that if I didn't have those basic needs covered I wouldn't be here anyway. Dead for lack of those things so maybe it's just that we take those basic needs for granted but like the word and the concept of necessity . . . do we have a need for needing . . .

I don't know anymore what I need to do.

I am not always sure that know what I want- to be, to have, to do.

Funny thing is, I think the only thing I really need to do, is to keep doing.

Proud work memory #1

When Miguel slashed Franky's tires in the parking lot he wasn't thinking. He was after all a fairly typical 15 year old Tex-Mex borderline delinquent with a chip on his shoulder and Franky was a fairly typical 40 year old West Texas Good Ol'Boy with a bad attitude. Miguel also wasn't paying attention to the great big fellow in the oil company pick-up truck who grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into the restaurant where Miguel worked and Franky was a corporate officer on a restaurant visit.

It got pretty exciting for a few minutes . . . the good Samaritan roustabout dragged Miguel into the restaurant and after not so kindly convincing Miguel to be quiet he asked who owned the Lincoln with 4 now flat tires. He told the story and Frank exploded with curse words and threats of arrest and violence and promises of devastating retribution. Franky wasn't thinking much either.

I worked for Franky as the manager of that little West Texas Taco Restaurant- actually all 66 of our managers worked for District managers who answered to Regional Managers who answered to Franky. Franky was important. Just ask him and he would tell you.

Miguel worked for me. He was the morning prep cook. As he had been kicked out of high school for a variety of behavior problems he had taken one of the few jobs available to an uneducated 15 year old Mexican Kid with a bad attitude in West Texas. He had signed up for night school to prepare for his GED and occasionally tried to work the occasional weekend evening shift for extra cash. Miguel had worked for me for several months and I liked the kid. Too much attitude, too much testosterone, too big of a chip on his shoulder but I really liked him! Like most 15 year olds he forgot to think sometimes but he was smart, he was stunningly efficient, and he learned! Whatever I showed him, stuck. As we worked together to help him understand performance and quality standards he got it! The idea of benchmarking performance and clear expectations made sense to him and he thrived. Like I said, I liked him- smart mouth and all.

Did I mention Miguels cute little 14 year old girl friend? She was wonderful! She came to see Miguel for his lunch break and was there for him when he got off work. They were adorable and she was starting to show the evidence of their coming family. She apparently wasn't thinking much either.

Franky lived near the store and visited often. He made it clear from the first time he met Miguel that he thought he as a lost cause. Couldn't see past the accent and the quasi gangster outfits and the low-rider Pontiac. One more example that Franky didn't think. He saw Miguel as a delinquent and I saw him as a young man who understood the standards and expectations and was determined to exceed them. He loved the objectivity of those standards. I loved that fact that he understood them.

A few months into Miguel's time with the company Fred came in and found Miguel smoking a cigarette while he was cleaning the waste area behind the restaurant and went ballistic. It was 6:40 in the morning, Miguel was way ahead on his work schedule and had taken it upon himself to clean up the area but all Fred could see was the fact that Miguel was sneaking a cigarette. Rather than calling the shift manager or me or anyone, Franky sent Miguel home in a fit of anger. Five days off without pay! No conversation or investigation. Like I said. Not a lot of thinking.

It was two nights later that Franky was visiting the store with his wife and kids when Miguel was driving by and noticed the car- swung into the parking lot, stepped out of his Bonneville low-rider and put his knife to work. Not a lot of thinking.

Later that night after I recovered Miguel from the oilmans grip and got him to talk to me, (he was starting to think then . . .), I talked to Franky at length. Having him arrested would satisfy a need for punishment but wouldn't replace the tires and Franky wanted his tires replaced. And he wanted Miguel to pay for them. I had everyone write down what had happened and finally Franky left with the understanding that we would meet the following day to determine Miguel's fate. Somehow in the process I had become in Franky's mind a part of the problem- I had hired Miguel after all. Franky was angry, Miguel was scared, and I was thinking.

The next afternoon Franky came by after the lunch rush and we all sat down. I asked it I could make a proposal that might help his tire problem and teach Miguel a lesson he would not forget. That morning Miguel had gone to see a cousin who ran a tire shop in the area. The cousin, Miguel, and I had worked out a plan. The cousin would dispatch a truck that afternoon to replace all four tires on the Lincoln with identical brand new tires. It would be billed to Miguel. Miguel wrote a note to us requesting that until he paid the entire cost, we should direct payroll to pay him with two checks each week- both halves made out to him. On each payday, he or I would deliver one half of Miguel's pay to his cousin until the debt was paid. Fred would get a weekly report of the declining balance. Fred was concerned that Miguel was getting off easy because he got to keep his job and didn't get arrested. I pointed out that working from 5am to 3pm every day for the effective rate of $2 an hour or many months was pretty serious punishment-

In the end, Franky's desire for the tires outweighed his desire for retribution and we all agreed.

Early in Miguel's 16th year he paid the debt off.

When he made the final payment he sent a note to Franky thanking him for allowing him to take responsibility for what he had done. In the note he also expressed a respect for his job, his company, for me, and for Franky.

By the time Miguel was 17 he was a father and also had become a morning supervisor at the restaurant. He took and passed his GED with ease.

I had become the training manager for the company and right after he turned 18 Miguel was promoted to assistant manager of one of the stores. Now he and his new wife were able to move into an apartment of their own.

I was transferred out of the area and my contact with Miguel became less and less frequent- but I still loved to see the reports of his success. He became a restaurant manager and performed very well. His employees loved his combination of hard nosed standards with objective compassion. He was a good man.

Years after I left the company I was driving through West Texas and stopped into one of the company restaurants for lunch. While I was eating I heard a familiar voice in the kitchen and when I poked my head in it was Miguel! A few years older and a few pounds heavier but the swagger and the grin were still there- He was on a tour of the area as he had just been promoted to regional manager for parts of New Mexico and West Texas.

Miguel had just moved back to Odessa with his wife and their now 3 kids (he had thought about it and three was enough!), had a nice home with a pool, loved his work, had started taking some college classes on the side, was happy and enthusiastic.

We talked for a few minutes before I got back on the road- we laughed at the stories of friends and family and associates around West Texas and now spread across the US. When I was leaving we shook hands and he held on to get my attention. Looking straight at me he asked me if I remembered when he and Franky met and of course I did. He told me that they work well together but that Franky still looked sideways at him and that it was OK because he knew he couldn't undo what he had done. Then he thanked me. For helping him not be arrested and for helping him keep his job and for helping him to focus on what he could do and be. He wanted me to know that he was who he was because I had stood with him and held him accountable while giving him a chance.

When I think about what I do and what I have enjoyed and what I am most proud of, there are a handful of stories like that one that top the list. Working in fast food can be a demeaning, exhausting, mentally and physically draining experience. Your friends and acquaintances won't tell you how they wish they had a job like yours as it sounds so exciting. More likely they will say something along the lines of "well, I guess someone has to do it."

They are right. Someone has to. I am not sorry I am no longer doing that today but I am forever proud and grateful that I was the one who got to do it all those years ago in the oil patch. I like to think that whether anyone remembers me or the role I played, there are people whose lives are different and hopefully better because I was there.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Competence

There was a professor at UNM in Albuquerque that I like to (probably mis) qoute sometimes-

"Competence can only be measured by performance."

The context was in a special ed environment but it applies to everyone I think.

Her point was that our belief that the LD students we were working with had latent abilities if we could just uncover them was useless until we could find objective evidence that those abilities really exist.

When I try to justify myself by my intrinsic abilities I am just flat wrong. My deeply held opinion that I am smart and that my judgement is good and that I am a morally competent person has no value until I can show those things in my actions. I am only as smart as I am acting today. I am only as kind as the kindness I am performing and only as good as my life shows me to be. Potential is a wonderful thing but has no value to me or anyone else until it is manifested in activity-

I am only as good a person as my life demonstrates-

I am what I say and do.

I am who I act like . . .

In spite of the problems with saying I am not my past, I "know" I am not.

We are exactly what we do today. A mean nasty person who gets up one day and makes a choice to ACT nice and who keeps that commitment is in fact a nice person. Frankly even if they still harbor mean nasty thoughts! If they choose to say nice things and do nice things and make good choices then their internal struggles are not important.

I think I am saying that we are the person we act like we are. I don't think you can be a miser if you act generous and give, a coward if you face your fears and act brave, sad if you act happy all the time, or stupid if you do smart things. Conversely, a friend is not if their actions don't show it, a lover is not if they don't express it, and a smart person who acts stupidly is for all practical purposes, stupid.

The point of all that is that changing who we are would seem then to be a decision to act followed by the actions. If there is a way I want to be, all I need to do is behave as that person would behave and I am there! Instantly! No ramp up time, no waiting! As soon as I act like that person I am him!

Yes it does

Hard Work works.

Scriptures

There are several scriptures that have always spoken to me- this one seems so appropriate to the current trend toward the "new-age-y manifest a better life through the law of attraction" thinking that is so common lately:

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Love that one! It makes my dreams and wishes real!

This next one has the absolute opposite affect on me-

"to whom much is given, of him much is required"

Damnation cometh!
Sunshine today! Yeah!

Work to be done!

A place to keep some odd thoughts, observations, and questions. A bit of exploration . .

If you are here you were probably invited- probably means I am thinking you are odd enough to appreciate some of what is here . . .