- People are responsible for their own lives and their own reality. That includes me.
- Our own happiness is the goal.
- Fun is not the same as happiness but it helps!
- God loves us but he is neither our mother nor our servant; he made us in his image as creators and is happy as we learn and grow in our ability to create our own reality.
- The laws of the universe are just that, laws. We may create our own reality but we are still a part of the universe and subject to it’s laws- we will reap what we sow, get what we deserve, see the blessings and fruit of our labors. The laws of the universe are without fail double edged blades- yes, tomorrow is another day and it is up to our choices what that day will be like.
- Life always starts now.
- Love as a verb has much more value than love as a noun. A love that is felt is pleasant but a love that is chosen and committed to and expressed through action has the ability to change both the loved and the lover.
- Everyone has an absolute right to create their own reality and their own value as long as it is not at another’s expense.
- Time can be spent- invest it wisely.
- I am not responsible for anyone else nor is anyone else responsible for me. However, I may choose to be responsible to someone else either deliberately or as a byproduct of my other choices.
- I cannot make anyone do anything- I can only make myself act.
- Money (means to do things), Love (to care about or for), and Time (the opportunity to experience). That balance is the crux of my happiness. To do things that I care about with people I care about (Love), having the means to do those things (Money), and the opportunity (Time) to do more of them. Have the means to spend as much of my life as possible experiencing the people, activities, and things that I care about. I get extra points for growing and overcoming.
- There is nothing immodest in taking pride in the challenges met, successful growth, or the changes I have wrought in myself for the better. It is honest. There is no virtue in being smart, or tall, or pretty, or gifted, or having things. I was born this way and can take no credit and the things that I have only have meaning as they reflect my understanding, growth, beliefs, choices, and actions.
- There is no such thing as true contradiction. If two things stand opposed, only one can be true. Paradox is possible as it means to appear contradictory until a complete understanding is achieved.
- Emotions and passion often overcome reason- and cannot be trusted.
- There is a difference between truth and fact. Truth is harder but usually worth more.
- Think. Reason. Consider. Examine.
- There is no secret to life. It is what it is. It is ours to own and create and to be responsible for. There is no magic bullet, no oracle, no answer outside ourselves. I have to decide for myself what will make me happy and then I have to go do it.
Friday, June 6, 2008
belief notes
It is an interesting process to try to note "what you believe." At the end I find that I can always think of one more important idea and at least one included that doesn't make sense to me. I think I like the process though-
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2 comments:
I happen to think there is a *lot* of virtue in being tall. :)
Doing some research on happiness yesterday before leading a group on the psych unit, I ran across some interesting statistics. 50% of a person's happiness is genetically determined (based on studies of twins raised in different families/environments). 10-15% is the result of measurable variables such as socioeconomic or marital status, etc. The other 35-40%? Undetermined. I think that's the part we decide for ourselves.
Other studies have indicated that there's a "setpoint" for happiness, and that individuals tend to return to their setpoints after fluctuations caused by events/circumstances in their lives (winning the lottery and becoming a paraplegic were two of the specific life events in one of the studies). A few months/years after the event, individuals were pretty much back to their baseline level of happiness.
So being happy really is more about working on changing your setpoint than on changing your circumstances. I guess old Abe Lincoln had it right when he said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
:)
Hey Ruth- I think that makes sense- kind of like the whole nature vs nurture issue-
I have long since accepted that "happy" for me may mean something different than for some other person.
I like the idea of changing the set point- I hope that is possible at any rate. At this particular time in my life I am more concerned about those "measurable variables" and those "undetermined" issues you mentioned. That 10-15% seems pretty important right now and of course my reaction to it, (that other 40%)- that is, how happy I decide to be.
Oddly it seems to me that I am feeling pretty good considering that I am teetering on the edge of disaster- of course as I am on the edge of disaster I may also be on the edge of grand and glorious success!
Nevertheless I am wanting to reduce the terror in my life. I may be wrong but it also feels like the process of 1) beating back the fear, and 2) establishing a plan to solve the problems my behaviour has created, and 3) making the necessary changes in my life to gain some control (through ritualizing some systems, achieving some disciplinein applying them, and accepting the inevitable variation from the plan and returning to it) will result in my not only regaining some level of success but more importantly I think I will gain a new perspective that will have the affect of adjusting the set-point.
Did that make any sense?
I have been reading (and paying more attention since the author commented on this blog) Nancy Ratey - The DisOrganized Mind- it is interesting that those times in my life where I have found success I have created some systems that look a lot like those that she presents in her book. Even in those areas where I have enormous amounts of competence I am not generally very productive unless
I create a track for myself and figure out where my duties fit on that track.
** forgive the scoot sideways, I hope this will connect up-
years ago when I was in Portland we were putting together an operations manual and one of the things I remember clearly was that one of our goals was to create an environment in which our employees were happy- we spent a lot of thought and study and the definition we came up with was that (our) employees were happy when they were being effective and getting good results. Of course they have to have enough to eat and are not concerned about losing their jobs and we only beat them occasionally but the most important thing we could identify was that the employee who was effective, competent, getting good results, and continuing to grow was happy. Not scientific but it seemed to work-
On that same trip, one of the work arounds that helped me be very productive was to identify the half dozen things that had to be done to make that business successful, create a daily schedule sheet that I filled out daily and reviewed for success/opportunities. It also made training other leaders very easy- just come in and do this . . . I left time every day and every week to explore but those critical issues were solid and non-negotiable-
(another side trip from the side trip- my dad was recently doing research for the FAA on the mandatory age 60 retirement rule and his conclusion was that age was not a predictor of competence- the best pilots of any age or experience level seemed to be those that had achieved at least a reasonable level of competence but were continuing to explore their skills and were learning new things- the FAA ignored his comments (but they did pay for the study, yeah!) and I am not sure this tied in all that well so perhaps we should ignore this here as well)
Now for an attempt to connect this up- I find myself feeling better about life when those same things are true in my life. In work, money, relationships, housekeeping, etc- I am learning to be forgiving of myself for my personal quirks but I also know that regardless of those quirks I feel better when I am effective and getting good results.
Ok- I will look again at this later but I think the upshot is that I think that you are right- at least half is hardwired and very difficult to adjust and the balance are either our circumstances (which are the result of our choices) or our direct choices in how we respond to the challenges in our lives.
There is no doubt in my mind (OK that's probably a bit strong as there is always a bit of doubt dancing around the edges of my conciousness) that I am happier when I am able to be that effective person who is getting good results and continuing to grow. It is easy to mistake it for being "the things" but that would be false- it is the being aware of my own ability to make a difference- I have an affect. I get results. Things are simply the evidence of my effectiveness.
Hence the focus on recovering my life financially and professionally.
Maybe later I can move past all this and become the lover, poet, song writer, novelest, sage, traveler, student, beach bum, and cowboy I have always been when I am alone in my mind-
A yadda yadda yaaaa
**this comment box is tiny so obviously they didn't intend such long responses to responses- ah well-
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